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Holding Out

Misty

eXtasy Books

Heat Rating: STEAMY
Word Count: 13,668
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Last Christmas, Misty gave Joshua Walker her heart. But now, Misty has to pretend there is nothing between them, even when there is everything, including love, chemistry, desire – and a teenage girl who desperately needs a mother. What will Misty do to hurry her divorce along? She can't hold out forever!

Joshua Walker is feeling bitter, after finding out that Kathy was living another life, as if her marriage didn't exist, as if she wasn't a mother to a teenager. But will Josh decide to change course, once he finds out there is a better way?

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Excerpt

I cracked open the fly of his pajamas, eased it out and sucked on the head until it got hard. Then I began to suck the whole length, easing down to the base and then back up again. I moved slowly.

“What? Who’s there?”

I released his cock. “It’s just me, baby.”

“Misty...”

I smiled. “Yes. It’s me.”

I took off my nightdress, straddled him, slipped his cock inside me, and slowly sank down until we were mated together.

In the semi-darkness, I smiled at Josh as he lifted his arms and put his hands on my waist.

I moved my hips slowly, at first. Up. And down. Up. And down. Up. And down...

“Oh! Oh! Oh, baby!”

“Damn, Misty!”

“Oh, baby! Oh! Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! God Damn it!”

The alarm clock jerked me right out of that dream. Groaning, I reached over and slapped the stupid thing before it could make that awful noise again.

I lay back down, listening to the drumbeat of my pounding heart.

That dream was so real. And I’ve been dreaming it a lot lately. A lot.

Waiting for my rapid pulse and breathing to slow down, I lay there for a few minutes, until I saw what time it was. Regardless of how lonely or horny I was, the two most important people in my life needed their mother.

Feeling like I weighed a ton, I slowly got out of bed, padded into the master bathroom to do my business, and then went down the hall to make sure the girls were awake.

As always, I came to Raquel’s bedroom first and cracked the door open. “Raquel? It’s time to get up, baby.”

“I’m up, Mom.”

Right away, something didn’t sound right. So I eased into Raquel’s bedroom and sat on her bed. “What’s the matter?”

There was a long silence.

So I said, “Raquel, what is it?”

“What did we do, Mom?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Sam and I. Us. What did we do wrong, to make Dad go away and leave us?”

“Raquel, you did not do anything wrong. It’s your dad, him and nobody else but him, that made the decision to leave us.”

Raquel dabbed at her tears with a tissue. “Really?”

Softly but firmly I said, “Really. All we did was give him our love. Your dad chose to leave. So I don’t want to hear any more of this. Okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Good. Now come here.” I held my trembling, sniffling daughter, still convinced that I could make the monsters go away if I held her tightly enough.

Raquel pulled back first, still holding the tissue.

“Now come on. Your sister will use up all the hot water if you don’t get a move on.”

A hint of a smile appeared on her tear-streaked face. “Okay, Mom.”

I went back out to the hallway. Sam stood there, not saying anything. Then she rushed across to me all at once and gave me an impulsive hug. I just hugged her back, not able to say anything.

Finally, she pulled back. “I love you, Mom.”

Quietly, I said, “I love you, too, baby.”

“And I do not either use up the hot water.”

At the front door, I said, “Now girls, please try to be careful at practice today, okay?”

“Yes, Mom,” the girl chorused.

Then Raquel said, “Will Josh pick us up today?”

“If you want. I can ask him.”

“Yes, please,” Samantha said.

Raquel said, “Yeah! We can ride home with Krissi.”

“You girls are really becoming good friends, aren’t you?”

It was Raquel who answered. “Yeah, she’s almost like another sister.”

Then Samantha dropped a bombshell. “I wish Josh could be our dad.”

Raquel’s face lit up. “Yeah! Then Krissi really could be our sister.”

“Yes, and then I would need to upgrade our hot water heater,” I said dryly.

Samantha and Raquel both laughed out loud.

Laughing too, I said, “You girls can laugh because you don’t pay the water bill.”

“Come on, Mom, wouldn’t it be cool to have Krissi stay with us?” Samantha asked.

“You girls need to get going, or you’ll miss your school bus. Come on, now.”

“Yes, Mom.”

The girls bustled out, and I stood in the doorway watching them walk down the street. Then I closed the door, rearmed the alarm, and headed for the stairs.

I couldn’t help but think how the girls had just given voice to exactly what I had been wishing. This vow of chastity that I’ve informally taken would be so much easier if Josh wasn’t so handsome and had a beautiful daughter of his own who needed a mother.

I could understand Raquel’s tears earlier. The whole year had required some adjustment. It’s been hard and easy, at the same time. Most of the time it’s been easy. Except on holidays and personally important days. Then it was hard.

The girls have had to get used to their father not being there for holidays and their birthdays. Raquel especially took it hard when her father wasn’t there for the girls’ birthday. But I’ve had to get used to not having my husband around, either.

On Valentine’s Day, for example, I was one of the women who didn’t have a bouquet of flowers or some other present waiting on their desk when they arrived at work. Over the summer, spending our anniversary alone for the first time was positively painful. The empty chair at the dinner table Thanksgiving weekend was more noticeable than the chairs that were occupied, which wasn’t fair to Josh or Krissi.